Protect Your Value(ables)

The values that are valuable vary from person to person and must be protected. Values as a verb is defined as; “consider (someone or something) to be important or beneficial; have a high opinion of.” And valuable is defined as; “a thing that is of great worth, especially a small item of personal property.” In the King James version of the Bible, in Luke 17:20-21 it states: “20 And when he was demanded of the Pharisees, when the kingdom of God should come, he answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh not with observation: 21 Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.” 

There are three areas that I value in life and they are interdependent when properly understood. The first of these values is self-worth. After watching the video presentation by Robert Waldinger titled “What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study onhappiness” I realized that while the research was sound, I do not believe those doing the study looked deep enough into why some of the participants where “happier” than others. True happiness comes from within and while “good relationships keep us happier” as suggested by Mr. Waldinger, those relationships and their relative goodness is ultimately a personal choice. I have always valued my own internal happiness and I realized very early in life that anytime I did not feel happy or fulfilled, it was not my external world that needed changing it was my internal thoughts. My oldest son when he was a teenager decided to do some not so good things with his life. And while his choices had an effect on me as his father due to my love for him, I quickly chose to love myself and own my internal feelings instead of being influenced by the actions of my son. Doing this immediately changed my feelings within and while I did love my son, I chose to love me more, enabling me to love him in spite of his teenager antics. Which leads to my second value and that of family. My spiritual father Minister Louis Farrakhan once said “...nothing is more important and sacred than family...”  When as an individual you decide to experience happiness within by the choices you make that feeling of self-joy extends to those around you. Based on Mr. Waldinger’s video presentation and the studies done it can be extrapolated that those test subjects that were the happiest chose to be that way and in spite of the normal challenges of life, the external world did not alter their internal feelings of happiness. I do agree with the study in that “good relationships keep us happier and healthier, period!” In my life I found that when I had mutually beneficial relationships with others, the quality of my internal happiness was enhanced. Knowing that there are people directly connected to me that I can rely on and assist provides what I call a “Relationship Energy Loop” like any good electrical circuit, the energy flows in a circle giving light, life and power to all connected. The final area I value is community. “Self-Improvement is the Basis of Community Development” as the guided study system created by Minister Louis Farrakhan states. Communities are made of individuals, individuals connected in homes make up families, and families clustered in close geographic areas comprise communities. Community is important toward nurturing strong families and individuals as it provides the broader support system that keeps the smaller units intact. Having friends that I started with in Preschool, knowing their families and each parent knowing the parent(s) of those I called my friends gave me a strong feeling of belonging. Never feeling like I was alone no matter where I was in my neighborhood because knowing that I could knock on a door of my neighbor and get not only guidance as a child but also get food as well was a definite community bonus. To be invited in to have lunch or dinner with a family that was not of my immediate family shored up the feelings of belonging. So being happy within self allows you to work effortlessly within your family unit and gives you a greater chance at being invited over for lunch within your community, and who couldn’t see the value in that?